Fish

It's on fire!

It was like an ordinary Sunday, I brought my laptop to a cafe, setting there with a cup of drink, enjoying such a nice and peaceful afternoon. Later my collegue called, asked me for hanging out. "Sure!" I answered without a second thought, expecting to have a joyful night. We went to 3 night markets in total, and ate plenty of food including cold stone's fabulous ice cream, delicious steak, 滷味(a kind of traditional Taiwanese cusine), stinky tofu, fried chicken with salad, 蚵仔煎...... Anyway, we started to eat since 5 pm, and stopped at 10.30pm. Finally, my collegue was satisfied, and I was full to death.
We went to bathroom at different places for several times, once was at starbucks. We were both so eager to pee... after I done I waited outside and looked around people setting there talking or studying. My collegue came out soon, and as soon as he came out, all the people stood up and hastily dashed downstairs. I didn't realize what happened until I started to cough. "SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG." I told myself seeing all the people dashing down like escaping for something. "Go! Go! Let's go!" A woman behind us yelled with coughing. "The third floor is on fire!" someone yelled after her. I hold my breath as soon as the air let me cough. My collegue hold my hand and rushed out of the store. People outside were murmuring about what happened inside, curious about why people running out with coughing. "Gosh!" Both of us were so astonished. We quickly got away from that starbucks and dare not to look back. Only thanks God for "we're damn lucky to escape from the fire AFTER we pee!" and pray for all people were safe.
Everytime when I feel how close is danger, I also feel how fragile is life. On my way home, I saw a couple intimately cuddling each other without saying any word. At that moment I also feel how precious is sharing your love to others before your life ends. Life is all about sharing, which is an envidence of your existence.
I received a call from my boyfriend to ask me if I've got home safely. I smiled for his concern and told him all the things happened today, only remained the words about how much I missed him and love him. I think he knows, even he didn't go through that crisis, I know he knows that just through listening to my discription.

Because we need you

Heading for starbuck's "buy one and get one free" with MRT last night, I sit in front of a couple of kids, they were only around 6 or 7 year-old. Few stations past by. Just when I noticed that there's something wrong with the little girl, she started to cry. "What the hell!" The boy frowned, but still tried hard to understand "what the hell" happened to his sister. "I miss mummy... can I speak to her?" They boy stared at her with holding his racing moto toy, "Of course you can, just make a phone call." then focus his on his toy again. However, his words didn't satisfy his sister, she still kept sobbing with powerlessly lying on his brother's shoulder. "Oh come on," his brother started to get impatient. "We're gonna see her soon, can't you just wait for few stations?", "No! I don't want to wait! I can't wait!" I suppose there're only 1 or 2 years old between them, but the brother is obviously more mature and independent. Why?

Well, some of you may say they're just kids, I should not compare them to grown-ups. But the girl's tears remind me the time I cried for crazily missing my ex. I did the same thing with her. She's a kid needing her mother, and I was an older girl who needed protection from a man. You see the common? Both of the condition shows how much we female desire for protection. I continue some childish habbits from my childhood (because I learnt that they're useful), when I was the younger one who always desire to be concerned and taken care of. Especially by those who you love. Kids sometimes cry intentionally to get their parents' attention or concern (or sometimes maybe they want to stun you). Grown-ups do the same thing. At least, I do the same thing. I used to have a tough time by having my ex living far from me. When I wanted to let him know how much I love/need him, I'd cry sadly to show him. Even though I actually wasn't that sad, I just wanted to get more concern and tender comforts which may prove he loves me.

To men: don't say we women are craft or mean with winning your concern by crying. The only reason we do that is because WE LOVE YOU! If we don't, we even don't give a shit about you.
Though some of us(women) desire to be independent and success in their career---but that doesn't mean we don't need you and your concern. The definition of a good man for women varies from different person, what I believe the common is *taking good care of us.* Thus, don't forget to concern about your girlfriend/wife. Unless you wanna see her crying or being mad at you--- to get your attention and concern, or, to stun you.

Men's looking

Due to one of my midterm reports, I started to rewatch a serial I used to like a lot and catch up some new episodes---sex and the city. It's not a new for many of you though, but relationships of men and women is always a popular topic which may never die out. Furthermore, after so many days, by rewatching it, I still feel most of the conversations of the girls are exactly what I was thinking. Many thoughts in it are so accurate and undeniable. I only catched up couple episodes so far, after watching more, I'll come to share some of my opinions indeed.
So whether what brings a man and a woman together? Some people set rules for their expectant partner, like one of my friend, who has only had one boyfriend in her entire life till now, and now eagers to find some one to be with. As one of her best friends, I agreed to introduce some guys that she may likes. But none of them worked out. Why? Because all of the guys are not good enough? I bet the answer is NO. It's hard to tell what's a person like if you have never get along with him or her personally. The main reason of the failures is, the first limit she sets is Good Looking. Is it really so important? I wonder it all the time. Look back to me, the ex-boyfriends I've ever had, though I broke up with 6 already, none of them can really be described with "H" word, but their looking were just acceptable. I mean, at least all of them were clean, comfortable... Their appearance were not the most thing I concerned about. After all, you can't decide to have relationship with a guy only with his looking. That's not the point we should most concern about. Men in the world are not always like those ones in fancy stories---rich, young, handsome and romantic. I can't say you arn't able to find some one like that forever, but it may takes you 100 years. We women should not be too hard on men's looking. Even without good looking, I believe a man can still be charming and confident in other ways.
Anyway, it's good to try on different "flavors" sometimes. I mean, guys who are good in different parts, and that's hard to tell from the appearance only, right?

Got a chance to restart

OK. Now, it's a brand new start. How so? Well, obviously... from the change of my blog, something goes wrong. And, yes, I broke up with someone couple months ago. Surprisingly, it wasn't that painful for me. It's rather painful for him, who was the one wanted to break up. You may wanna ask me "Why?"... Unfortunately, I'm really tired of going through of the prosess for the one thousnad times. (It's like breaking up with him for 1000 times!) I think there's a better way to tell it, with another funny story...

Lately I just found another interesting serial which is called "Accidentally on purpose". One woman who has already in her 30s had one night stand with some young guy (only in his 20s!) she met in a bar. Unluckily, she got pregnent with his baby. She was glad that she finally has a baby when her 40s is approaching, but the story between the woman and this young guy is so embarassing that she dared not to tell others. After seriously discussed with the young guy, they dicided to have this baby. Although none of them are truely believe that they're in love with each other yet, cus things just happened so fast. (They went immediately from "Hey babe" to "Hey baby!") Both of them are trying to take care of eath other and to give commitment, it just wasn't so easy. So the young guy moved into the woman's house, trying to live as a harmony family mode with her. Later, to lessen the tense and pressure between them, they made a deal: They can date someone else. And they really did. One day the young guy dated with a psycho girl who was in love with him and the pregnent woman in the same time (God knows if it's possible) This is the first time the pregnent woman and the young guy feel that they're so together. The woman asked the guy to break up with her and to explain to her with this metaphor: "Well, some food just don't go togehter..."

I love this funny serial so much. But that is not the point of mentioning it. The point is I just broke up with some one who doesn't suit me. Although I thought he did. Anyway, it doesn't matter for me now. I think I'd completely lose contact with that guy... who has been always so far away from me. It's wasn't his fault, if we must blame someone, it must be me. I smashed my loyalty to him... which is an unforgivable reason for him to leave. Quite unhappy to mention about it, it's history anyway. I just want to claim every one deserves a brand new start if he/she has a better option to renew his/her life, don't wait until some day you wake up with astonished face and wonder how come your life had never start?

It Sucks

I don't know. I really don't know. Our relationship is still fragile even if we've given countless promises to each other. I shouldn't be fussy. Yeah. But I could never stop worrying about our future, though it's silly to worry about something you can't change no matter it's due to your incapability or the existing fact. I feel a mess. Awful mood, chaos keeps on, being bothered... I feel powerless and furious that leads me violently in the same time. I'm totally screwed. I feel suck. Gosh damn it, you would never know what am I feeling right now, this mess which damaged me so much,... which makes me feel somehow I'm losing you...
I think it might be okay to lose you when we fought. Because I got so mad at you and selfishly just wanted to protect myself as well as I could from hurts. I can't deny that I need you, that's the reason why I'm being so fragile and weak. What could I say? Does love never fail you?

Every morning

　I love every morning that I can wake up lazily with talking with you and listening to you under the lovely sun, because I can scruplousless indulge in your voice and keep closing my heavy eyes. Although you sometimes complain that "Oh! everytime when I talk with you you're always sleepy!" But you always still considerately tell me to close my eyes to get enough rest. I crazily want to fall into sleep with hugging you when you say that, for you'd know, you are always on my mind whenever. In spite of answering your "good morning" and "baby wake up" with my lazy sleepy voice, but every sentence of "I love you" I said to you still are the earnest and sincerest of me. I maye be the laziest cat among all of cats you've had, but I also am the cat which is the most unale to leave you.
　　Me: Baby, Where are your arms?
　　Baby: "Here, I'm just next to you."
　　Me: Ummmm,......... (closing my eyes...) I love you...
　　Baby: "I love you love you love you love you..."

Our morning

　　Yesterday was really an impressive day that gave me a lesson. Yep, my grandpa's temper is really worse than my mom. When I saw him shouting to my mom on phone, I was so shocked. Does he know his stubborn would make how many people upset? Even he is the eldest so everybody should respect him. Of course I know this, but in which way others would respect him not only because his age but also his personality? Is that really worth to insist on his personal rule rather than hurt others? What's more, he was not hurting any body else but his own daughter! I hate seeing other shouting. It makes that person looks like a crazy, out of mind bastard. When I saw my grandpa doing that, my respect to him totally collapsed. He is the eldest, so he should be the model of us.
　　Every one has his or her own temper, I do have mine too. I got very upset when seeing him doing that to my mom. I cried. Few minutes ago I was just making complaint toward my mom, but at that moment, I started to really sympathize her. How come she could stand for my grandpa's extreme and desperate temper for such a long time? (Fortunately, she moved out since she was studying in senior high school and lived alone.) If I was her, I would be crazy to have such a dad like him. Is that the reason why my grandma moved out from my grandpa and lives with my uncle?
　　There are too many questions among my family, but I can never figure out. No one can solve those problems which are made by our elder members. Those problems are untouchable. Frankly speaking, what I see is only selfish, stubborn, desperation and impatience... Yes, they're not only my opinion but fact. That's why those problem are untouchable, because they refer to the problems of our elder members' personality. We have no right to change their personality. I do not know what did they get through in their life, but at least, shouldn't they take care of others' feelings? Emotional action and response could never get spontaneous respect. Doesn't he want to be a respectful member who is not only being respected with his age but also the good personality? Maybe he is just unable to. I mean, individually, he is not really a person that good in controlling his temper. I could not imagine what did my mom feel when my grandpa shouted at her on that call. All she did then was just asking me to leave with her to not irritate my grandpa continuously. She won my respect rather than my grandpa immediately at that time.
　　I acknowledge I'm not a person with good temper, but at least I won't hurt others on purpose in that outrageous way, especially thoe who I love. Although I don't always have a good attitude toward my mom, at least I still know... yes, like bb told me, she is my mom and I love her. I'd aim at things to respond but not aim at specific person. There are some hurts she caused on me, or those nightmare would not come to knock on my door while I sleep. However, I have a consciousness that I should do like what my grandpa should do, FORGET THE PAST. We got wonderful and hopeful future, how silly are we to be strict by our heavy and hurtful past. Worrying and losing temper change nothing but only bring us more and more sorrow and tears. We can be a better self, how could we give up this precious chance? We are who we want to be.
　　Okay, crap time is over. Let's change another more delightful topic.

　　Every morning is beautiful that I can wake up with your tender voice. "Good morning baby. I miss you". This is the best sentence I would like to hear in every morning when my eyes are still lazily closing. After couple days of tiring traveling, this is the morning that I can finally sleep late and don't need to scrupulous about time so I could talk with baby until he get sleepy. Like my mom said (she's right about me this time) "He is your all" (Hey it's spoken by her, a little bit ironically though LOL) Yes, every morning is so beautiful that I can talk with bb, and fighting on bed about the blanket, pillows, and space to sleep. Otherwise, I think we can hardly sleep quietly because our noses take turn to make music. HA. Baby you feel cold? I'm not going to give you any of the blanket until you come to hug me in your arms, which are warmer than any other place. (whisper: I love you. )

It's Chinese New Year time

　　It is today. Our Chinese new year. One year has passed, we have went through a lot. The scene of last year still haunting in my head, vividly like it was yesterday. Finally finished my senior high school and entranced into my ideal university and department smoothly. I'm glad that in last year I achieved so many thing that made my life more meaningful and impressive. No matter how tough is life, we'll always tough it out. Yes, regardless to those adversities and tears, I did really have a good year. Wish others blessings, I feel myself becoming more and more mature, especially with sharing my life with others that makes my own life more beautiful than any of before. I'm grateful to those who love me and those who I love. The most precious present they gave me is their concern and company, their blessing and their wishes.
　　To my families, to my dad, though we haven't been together frequently in last year, but I know you still care about us and love us. You are always the nucleus of our family. To my mom, sorry for bringing you so much troubles since I born. Sorry to make you angry, sad, disappointed and upset. Even though I don't behave well always, and sometimes have a bad attitude toward you, but er... I was just being emotional at times. To my sister, you share so much things with me, thanks for being with me and give me courage sometimes. You are like a friend of mine, a true and sincere one, who I need always a lot.

　　Today is new year eve, the most fascinating night in a year for children. We will get red envelopes which contain money for children. And we will have a BIG MEAL for new year eve. After having dinner we will set off fire crackers for fun (I have heard so many people setting off fire crackers last mid night... setting off fire crackers traditionally is for scaring misfortune away) We gather with our family and relatives to celebrate and greet our brand new year together, enjoy the happiness of hoping.

　　So to all of you: Happy new year again, hope you feel the jubilant of this significant festival as well.

Our corn soup

　　As a result of baby talked about a Chinese restaurant he went for having dinner yesterday, we started talked about food. At the start, we talked mostly about Chinese dishes. We refered to a Chinese style resturant's menu and I introduced some dishes that I prefer, like "Chaw mien", dumplings, sliced chisken with garlic spicy sauce, they're all my favorit. Though I'm not sure how would Chinese dishes be tasted like there, I just give some advices to bb to refer.

　　Anyway, creamy corn soup is a common soup that both suitable for western meals and chinese meals. Creamy corn soup is an universal soup that seems to be too ordinary and common to us. It's so conventional that usually collocates with the principle food majorly in italian restaurant or steak restaurants. However, after talking about food for a long time (I kept talking delicious food), in addition baby didn't have breakfast yet, he was so hunry. I got some numerous recepits on websites, cause baby said he wants to make creamy corn soup. So, here we go:

Heat the water first
put the cut potato and carrot into the boiling water
wait for the water boil again
take out the cooked potato and carrot
cut them into small pieces
pour the creamy corn into the water and stir the soup
wait for the water boil
put some butter into the soup
add a little bit salt
put the marshroom
put the cut onion pieces into the soup
put the pieces of carrot and potato
put in the stirred egg
wait for seconds then stir the soup
add some pepper
done! :)

　　Baby just told me it's out corn soup which is maken by his hands with my direction. Oh so sweet. I hope someday I can really make a meal for bb, though he prefer Japanese food better (so do I...) But still, some classic Chinese dishes I'm still eager to let bb taste, to let him know we Chinese are actully professional in cooking!

Our first time

　　What a sweet surprise that my bb done. Baby collected all articles that I typed on my blog and made them into links, then posted them in a new post in our website.Ohhhhhh want to give you a huge hug. I went to print your smiling photo and put it in front of my desk. Gazing your face then I figure out I’m the happiest girl in the world who has a lovely husband.
　　Here are lots of "first time" I dedicated to bb: first time to know somebody who is so adorable, first time to crash on foreigner, first time to try so hard to learn about an unfamiliar religion, first time to get in touch closely with an exotic culture, first time to go through a long-distance relationship, first time to know how trustful shall I be in a relationship, first time to deliver surprising package, first time to send international greeting card for Chinese new year, first time to have our own website to record the story we made, first time to know love can be so pure and simple, first time to bravely let my mom know a bit about my affair...
　　I know there will be more "first time" maken by us in the futurethat all will be impressive and memorable.

　　I do, really Love You!

　　

How come

　　Oh, God. I bought new clothes like I was out of mind yesterday. The main thing I ought to do was going to downtown to meet Gwen and hand in my old textbooks those are useless for me now but may be useful for her Young sister. I went to post office to send off the package, too. It always makes me feel relaxed when seeing the package is leaving me and going to baby's embrace... Um. I'm so envious of the package lol I hope I was in one of packages I sent :(
　　Ah, the thing I wanted to mention about is new clothes. I persuaded myself that Chinese new year is coming (buying new clothes and shoes at the start of a new year is our custom) So I left everything behind... just crazily spending money on clothes like I so pushed by someone. OMG. On the road to home, while holding the BIG PACK that filled with CLOTHES, the feeling of guilt came upon. "Oh, no. I shouldn't be so luxurious, I shouldn't treat myself that good." "I should be more rational." "I should save money but not spend them on clothes every time..." 　　　　

　　Someone ever gave me a simile, at that time he was explaining to me how do men regard sex (I couldn't figure out at all at that time. But in the matter of fact... even until now I'm still not so understanding until yesterday I suddenly feel something was so pertinent) His example was that: "Sex for men is just like shopping for women." YES. Quite pertinent somehow. Maybe it's not for all but for some, it's absolutely appropriate. Ha. If sex was driving by nature, so does shopping. If having sex was not something bad, so does spending money on clothes. Oh anyway LOL I'm just seeking excuses for myself, don't take it seriously. Even they're similar in some parts, sex can't be compared with shopping though.

A starting point

　　It’s so hard to say good bye to my lovely roommates. Both of them are so thoughtful and friendly that they took care of me and did me a lot of favors. They cleaned up the room for me and informed me about the procedure of applying for moving out of the dorm (I’m too careless to notice such information). Wow. I’m such a lucky girl who has 2 adorable roommates just since I started my dormitory life. It’s really a delightful thing. I’m so thankful about their deeds while I’m shy to express as I always do.　
　　So, my winter vacation has already started since I turned in my marketing exam paper to the assistant. Among my major subjects on final, I think this time marketing would get the lowest score but not media literacy. Oh, awful. I really should improve my attitude and mindset to my studying methods. I tend to crazily concentrated on my textbooks during the week of exam. I tried to study earlier, to review and took my own notes. But however, eventually I always left them after a short time; my passion doesn’t keep for a long time. So, that’s the reason why I gotta be anxious before exams. Anyway, it was caused by laziness. YES, laziness again, the stuff which is attach to me all the time. If laziness is natural humanity, why there are still some people are able to get rid of it? Why there are always people that they can do everything in a tidy way and make things so clear and clean? Why can’t I do the same thing? Why am I incapable to do so good as them?
　　At this moment I decide. The first thing I’m gonna do after arriving home is cleaning up my messy room. One thing I like to do is to change the position of furniture inside of my room. The feeling of freshness cheers me up. I did it so frequently that my mom was mad about I spent time for change the layout of my room but not just clean up our house with her. You know, teens are likely to stay in their own rooms, of course there got some reasons. At least, there’re some external factors that impact on their behaviors indeed.
　　Alright. There is another thing. I bought a new bracelet which is goona be sent to baby. It’s made of silver, and there’re two love shaped buckles in the middle of the bracelet. Wow, gorgeous. The first seeing when I saw it, the sentence popped up in my mind. I asked the price and gazed it for a while, couldn’t speak anything out. The clerk smiled and looked at me, then said to me tenderly: who is the one you’re going to give it out? I staggered and said…. ”boyfriend.” Oh. She is a clever one. The bracelet is really lovely, gorgeous. I hope you’re gonna love it if my assumption is correct. It’s not so big and wide as the former one I sent you, it seems more exquisite. I’m going to send it out with chocolates, to wish you, happy valentines’ day. Though I know it seems you don’t like to celebrate for festivals much, but at least it’s valentines’ day which should be one of our festivals. So anyway I’m gonna send you something special, to celebrate not for the festival but for our love. :)

Face the truth: we're not spotless.

　　How could my life be so tough? I lost my cell phone yesterday and till now still can't it. It must dropped from my pocket somewhere when I was eagerly hurrying for my exam... I'm out of mind! My family will all blame me for my carelessness, and it's not the first time that I make so much troubles for them. Now it feels like I'm isolated from others while walking on the road... Seeing others using or talking on their cell, I'd feel upset. BTW, I was so stupid to misunderstand something that it disappointed me a lot... otherwise, I'm living in a really, really tight budget! :( I will have my final subject tomorrow, marketing. I'm really not in the mood to study, though I know it is my responsibility.

　　There is no good excuses for what I've done. Somehow I think it's better for me to vanish, for not giving my family and people arround me so many troubles and worry about. Again, I feel the hatred come into being inside of me. It is for nobody but myself. I am CRAP. While I'm falling I know there's actually no one really can help me... Everyone has their own stuff to handle with, they have their own burdens. No matter what's the relationship between I and the person, mom, dad, siblings, friends... When I am in need of favors, I always see there is something faked that they pretended to be while helping me. No one can be truly honest, nor do I. I can literally sense that there is a high and strong wall inside of my heart, uh... actually, inside of every one's heart. We cheat. We disguise. We lie and we hide. Okay, that's really enough. No matter the purpose is to protect ourselves or others, that's enough! I hate myself so much because I cannot control all of me myself all the time. Being impatient, hysterical, shallow, selfish... they arn't what I want to be. How can we stand for these things that we keep them existing inside of our body and soul? How can we forgive ourselves if we hurt others with these negative emotions no matter we're intentionally or not? These things are eroding us and there's no way to recover.
　　I have heard a saying that we all have our own evils inside of our body. In my opinion, I think it'd be better to say we're, somehow, all evils. No wonder we're all sinners. We can never get rid of what we've done. We're not the dominator of our own life, it is destiny that controls how would our life be. Happiness usually makes people easy and comportable, but hardly ever lead to impressive reflections. Which one would you choose? Being ordinary or remarkable? After giving out so much negative emotions, alright... maybe it's time to pause.

　　Here. How lovely the smile is which cheers me up a lot in this grievous momet.

Dislike

Oh! It’s Tuesday, Jan 13, now it’s lunch time here. I think I did a not bad job on advertising again I’m glad the efforts I made for it did work. Otherwise, I just had the exam of English reading course. It wore me out! The teacher asked us to write down so much personal feebbacks and recalling about the text. My brain was squeezed! Not to mention the following sociology, all the answer sheets requested hand-writting. I couldn’t believe how much words I’ve wrotten today, my hand is telling me it’s wore out as well!
　　To be honest, I’m not so confident to say I won’t fail any subect. Especially Media literacy. There was a period, when I was in senior high school, I wanted to be a journalist or work for journalism someday. I was interesting in media because it can keep in touch with the society and differt kinds of races, occupations, nations… However, after I chosed advertising dept, and really started to study in media (what am I studying is only a tiny part of media, though) I got bored! Although our dear professor has claimed how important is this subject for us who will maybe work for media planning company or have to make deals with media company, and of course, even we were not studying in advertising dept, media literacy is still important. In the way of understanding how does media operate, there’ll be lesser misunderstandings and dissatisfaction (at least they suppose so) But, Um, anyway,…. I don’t know the reason why I don’t like it is because I acually has no interest in it (but I do like advertising!) or maybe…. it’s because I did not spend enough time on it to figure out what's the essence of it. I’ve given up to study this subject twice. I got 64 points on it last time on midterm, and this time… ops, who knows. (It’s even much worser than economics which I got 80!) WELL. I’m going to study, and to baby, thanks for your understanding this morning …. yes, I did my best! ops…. except media literacy.

Moving on!

　　Finally my advertising exam has finished. Now I got 8 subjects left, waiting me. After tomorrow I will get only 5. What a delightful figure. God helps my media literacy and sociology that I really didn't spend much time on them. I don't know why after entrancing university I got more and more lazy spending time on watching series (now I'm sticking on desperate housewives... Few weeks ago was prison break) and doing those trial and meaningless things... What happened to me? Because there's no body keeps supervising me and pushing me to move forward? Why am I so passive and powerless though I'm pretty sure which direction should I head for to get BETTER. What shall I say? Ohhhhhhhh I really hate myself like this but this is something I can't work out by myself only. I need someone be with me sharing the weight of my pressure and give me a hand to smooth my emotions. When we growing up, we are losing our innocence and purity in the meanwhile... even when I was tracing back to my past, I couldn't recognize that person any more. Is she really who I used to be? Why did I change a lot without knowing?
　　Feel like I'm a helpless lamp now begging for someone's guidance. Living in a desperate situation like now really toughen me. I don't like exams at all. Not At All :(

Here you are!

Finally! Here is my Christmas present from my darling. Though it's being a little bit late. However, I'm still ecstatic to receive it after waiting for a month.

Lovely Christmas ornaments. They make me recall my childhood that always looking forward to Christmas with fantasy. It has been a long time that I didn't decorate our Christmas tree with my family. I miss those innocent time a lot and miss my family as well.

Bodymilk and fruit flavor shampoo. The smells of them are like coming from a charming fairy tale. I guess my mom must love the smell very much. But, um! Will I really take shower or wash my hair with them? Ohhh, I'm really reluctant!

You see the fabulous red box with snow pattern on it which is made of wood. I really Love it because of its unique and exquisite design though I hardly ever like things with red.

They're all my feedback that will be sent for valentine's day. Seems crazy that they're all chocolate. Undoubtedly, my boy friend is a super chocoholic as I am. I suppose we will consist a family of chocoholic that our house may be filled with any kind of chocolate everywhere.

Otherwise, there's a poster of our logo (Him and Her) which was designed by Him for our website. See the following picture.

He wrote on the poster "Baby I can't laugh without you. please be passionate always. Wo ie ni (Chinese, means I love you) -your darling -" My tears were gonna burst out at that time! If he was in front of me I will huggggggggggggggg him tightly without saying a word. I appreciate for everything he done for me, his dedication, his devotion, his love and his passion. It doesn't matter that how tough is loving someone with ten-thousand miles far. Distance makes me know why should I cherish him, and makes our love be memorable and impressive. We're deepening the depth of each others' love when time goes by.

Better man

　　Feel like the chink between us is recovering. I was surprised to hear you were studying when I got up today. We talked with microphone instead of typing like the past several weeks. It produced more joyful laugh when we were talking. Very, very nice to know that you started to strive for your studying again. That's the person I want you to be, yes, earnest and responsible to your business. Though I know it's very selfish to set up a set of standards and expect you to achieve them. I should love WHO YOU ARE but not WHO I WANT YOU TO BE. If you're not like the person who I want you to be, will I stop loving you? How hard to answer. 'Cause you know, I know myself can't lose you and don't want to as well, but if you keep changing into another unfamiliar person who doesn't alike you used to be, I would be disappointed. Yes, I can't deny that I do set up some standards and hope you to achieve, but that doesn't mean I don't allow you to be yourself. I just want you going the right direction which will makes your future more promising, and helpful to our future also. In the mean while I'm doing my best for you, planning on finding a job during winter vocation. Though the money I earn won't be that much to immediately makes me able to reach for you, but I know someday I will. And I don't give up my studying, that's the point. Even you feel now it's a little late to make up for those deficiencies which were caused by laziness. You should know it will never be too late for making up something. The key point is if you are willing to or not. Don't find excuse for yourself, they will make you corrupt only. Be positive! Or sometimes be aggresive to get the chances to improve yourself better.
　　Really happy to know you're activated again. What I need to know is you're going forward and confidently be a better yourself. Hope both of us will someday achieve that. Be a better ourselves.

Changes

　　No matter what you see is hatred or fear, the only thing you got to remember is don't forget about love. Selfishness is a part of natural humanity. For surviving or living in a better life, we take ourselves as the primary to consider. Misunderstanding or dissatisfaction would grow into hatred if we didn't take care of these things well. When it comes to fear, while getting along and having interaction with others in the big surroundings, many accidents beyond our expectation happen in every single day. The changing speed of the world is too fast to us to adapt. It's much more faster then the speed we could regard, even exceed the range of our perception. We tend to perceive our incapability and keep believing that we're too tiny to be somebody in this world. Thus, hatred and fear eroded us. That makes us brea and suffer from anxiety or unrest all the time, until we kill ourselve with diffidence. We should leave the one in our heart who keeps huring us. Open arms to greet things that gonna happen next. Arguments can be solved by apology and compromise. Forgive others while you're out of mind or insist on the right thing when you're afraid are both the representation of love.
　　No goal and better change is approachable without any hard efforting. Only when you're willing to do so, having the determination to last can you approach success gradually. Every better change takes effort. Miracles can also be maken by human.
　　The picture of this article is drawn by me with illustrtor. It's my assignment actually. Aim higher, dream bigger. Well, hope every of us can have a progressive change within 2009. So, start to work hard, guys.

You decide

You bent the rules and denied the truth
All the strong suggestions you ever heard
Your parents say the giant mispercetions of who you really are
You've come too far, here you are, You decide
Cause everybody has to choose sink or swim, win or lose
Not everybody gets it right, fight or flight, so you decide
Make your move, it's up to you.
Don't let the moment pass you by
All eyes on you
What you gonna do with all the swirling in your head
You got to use your heart instead

---You decide, Brandon Heath

As long as I have u

　　Before we take something seriously and devote ourselves to make it done, we hardly ever get meaningful and influential realization from it. Life is either daring or it's nothing. No matter what are you engaging in, enjoy it, because that's the way you'll make it well-done.

　　I spent all the afternoon seating in McDonald's studying advertising with a cup of Latte. Still haven't figure out an efficient method to study on that thick and heavy textbook, or my speed wouldn't be slow. Got to move on faster to finish chapter ten before final exam ;(

　　Well, I just understood that someone is not keen on counting down to greet new year, he has no interest but didn't want to speak it out thus just hid it in his mind and made both of us feel weired this morning. It's not beneficial at all to hide something from me. You knew that I'd still feel something wrong though you pretended nothing. I slept over the moment in my country 'cause I thought I could greet new year with you on you time. Anyway, it's no more important and finally there was no counting down nor saying a sentence of happy new year. But who cares. The best thing is we didn't fight over this boring thing. We're both emotional and sensitive people who cannot stand for mere a tiny problem. In my opinion, if there is a problem existing, it should be solved asap. So I tend to be eager, anxious, impatient and fierce sometimes. (Despite knowing it should be solved peacefully) That's a shortcoming which my boyfriend can never stand for it. Though I know somehow he tried to stand in my shoes to understand me, but he still easily gets impatient likewise. We're so similar in this part. Is that a bad thing for getting along? Being similar in this part doesn't mean we'd easily understand or tolerate each other. It's impossible to totally understand some one's mind though he or she has a close relationship with you. Likewise when you get along with family. Anyway, so I always have to tell myself: calm down, hold on, don't lose your temper like an idiot who is so childish... Perhaps I'm really too childish for him... Age differentia adds culture differentia. Oh, God helps me. Do we get lesser words to say when speaking on skype? Does the gap between us deepen by preference for silence?